Movember Blues

10484142_10152525476812683_5913156562826436227_oStrangers stare when you’re sporting a stache. Half of them seem to think I’m an undercover cop. The other half probably think I’m a retired pornstar: with arthritis, bad credit, and genital warts. As for my wife: well, she looks like she mistakenly grabbed a piece of sandpaper, instead of a napkin, and wiped her face raw. We’re told that Movember is all about men’s reproductive health, and yet I can’t help but wonder if this is really such a good reproductive strategy?

—John Faithful Hamer, From Here (2015)

About John Faithful Hamer

John Faithful Hamer is a college professor who still can't swim, drive, or pay his bills on time. His sense of direction is notoriously unreliable, yet he'd love to tell you where to go. His lack of practical skills is astounding, and his inability to fix things is renowned, yet he'd love to tell you what to do. His mismanagement of time is legendary, as is his inability to remember appointments, yet he fancies himself a philosopher and would love to tell you how to live. He wouldn't survive in a state of nature, of that we can be sure; but he's doing quite well in the big city, which has always been a refuge for the ridiculous, a haven for the helpless, and a friend to the frivolous.

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