The Tao of Boo

Fullscreen capture 822015 25942 AMPENNSATUCKY: Did you know I didn’t shoot that nurse lady [at the abortion clinic] for any type of holy righteous thing like they all think? I, uh . . . I got really mad and she hurt my . . . . She hurt my feelings. And sometimes . . . I get this . . . I get this really bad temper. Phew. . . . You still like me or. . . .

BIG BOO (laughing): Oh, Doggett . . . don’t you know what this means?

PENNSATUCKY: Yeah. I’m going to hell.

BIG BOO: No, no. It means you’re the normal one. I mean, come on . . . some bitch insulted you, so you shot her? Now, to me, that makes a hell of a lot more sense than shooting a complete stranger that you’ve demonized for your own agenda. I mean, being too militant about anything . . . never ends well.

—“Finger in the Dyke,” Orange is the New Black (S03E04)

About John Faithful Hamer

John Faithful Hamer is a college professor who still can't swim, drive, or pay his bills on time. His sense of direction is notoriously unreliable, yet he'd love to tell you where to go. His lack of practical skills is astounding, and his inability to fix things is renowned, yet he'd love to tell you what to do. His mismanagement of time is legendary, as is his inability to remember appointments, yet he fancies himself a philosopher and would love to tell you how to live. He wouldn't survive in a state of nature, of that we can be sure; but he's doing quite well in the big city, which has always been a refuge for the ridiculous, a haven for the helpless, and a friend to the frivolous.

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