Shit Aaron Says (season 6, episode 2)

Shit Aaron SaysAbbott Student: “How can we get the most out of our college experience?”

Aaron Haspel: “Party a lot. And don’t waste too much time studying.”

Abbott Student: “You’re very critical of the education system in your book. What would you replace it with?”

Aaron Haspel: “Child labor.”

Abbott Student: “How would you summarize the message of your book?”

Aaron Haspel: “You suck so much more than you think.”

—John Faithful Hamer, The Myth of the Fuckbuddy (2016)

About John Faithful Hamer

John Faithful Hamer is a college professor who still can't swim, drive, or pay his bills on time. His sense of direction is notoriously unreliable, yet he'd love to tell you where to go. His lack of practical skills is astounding, and his inability to fix things is renowned, yet he'd love to tell you what to do. His mismanagement of time is legendary, as is his inability to remember appointments, yet he fancies himself a philosopher and would love to tell you how to live. He wouldn't survive in a state of nature, of that we can be sure; but he's doing quite well in the big city, which has always been a refuge for the ridiculous, a haven for the helpless, and a friend to the frivolous.

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