Shit Aaron SaysAbbott Student: “How can we get the most out of our college experience?”

Aaron Haspel: “Party a lot. And don’t waste too much time studying.”

Abbott Student: “You’re very critical of the education system in your book. What would you replace it with?”

Aaron Haspel: “Child labor.”

Abbott Student: “How would you summarize the message of your book?”

Aaron Haspel: “You suck so much more than you think.”

—John Faithful Hamer, The Myth of the Fuckbuddy (2016)