Shit Aaron SaysProfessor Smartypants: “Tony Hoagland is the greatest poet of his generation.”

Aaron Haspel: “Nonsense. The man’s a hack. What he writes isn’t even poetry; it’s prose, and bad prose at that.”

Professor Smartypants: “You should know that I’ve got a PhD in this stuff. Been teaching it for years.”

Aaron Haspel: “Arguments from authority are rarely made by authorities.”

Professor Smartypants: “So you’re going to mansplain literature to me now?”

Aaron Haspel: “Sure. Shall we start with the Elizabethans?”

—John Faithful Hamer, The Myth of the Fuckbuddy (2016)