Top 10 Elbowgate Proverbs

1. The elbow is mightier than the sword.

2. The squeaky MP gets the greasy news cycle.

3. Fortune favors the bold bullshitter.

4. Never look a gift accidental elbow in the facts.

5. MP molestation is in the eye of the beholder.

6. Every accidental elbowing has a silver lining.

7. Strike while the elbow is hot.

8. The road to hell is paved with accidental elbows.

9. You reap what you elbow.

10. I went to a fight the other night, and a parliament broke out.

—John Faithful Hamer, The Myth of the Fuckbuddy (2016)

About John Faithful Hamer

John Faithful Hamer is a college professor who still can't swim, drive, or pay his bills on time. His sense of direction is notoriously unreliable, yet he'd love to tell you where to go. His lack of practical skills is astounding, and his inability to fix things is renowned, yet he'd love to tell you what to do. His mismanagement of time is legendary, as is his inability to remember appointments, yet he fancies himself a philosopher and would love to tell you how to live. He wouldn't survive in a state of nature, of that we can be sure; but he's doing quite well in the big city, which has always been a refuge for the ridiculous, a haven for the helpless, and a friend to the frivolous.

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