Saudi Barbaria

saudi_arabia-flag-with-swordSaudi Arabia is like that degenerate junkie you see everyday on your way to work, the one who’s always getting worse but never seems to die. Every time you think he’s hit rock bottom, he does something so depraved and disgusting, like mugging an old lady on her way home from church, that you shake your head in disbelief and mumble: “Wow! New low, dude, new low.” If you doubt me, consider the following: a government-run newspaper in Saudi Arabia recently attacked Iran for allowing Jews to live in Iran. Yes, you read that correctly: live. There are about 20,000 Jews living in Iran right now. I can’t imagine that life is especially easy for Iranian Jews, but at least they have full citizenship rights; the Saudis don’t even allow Jews to visit Saudi Arabia!* Makes me sick to think that my country just signed a $15-billion arms deal with this disgusting regime—which still beheads people, in public, for things like sorcery. Is Saudi Arabia even a country? Or is it really just a family business masquerading as a nation state.

—John Faithful Hamer, The Myth of the Fuckbuddy (2016)

*If you’ve got an Israeli government stamp on your passport or you’re openly Jewish, you’re not allowed to enter Saudi Arabia. That being said, apparently, in recent years, they’ve had a sort of don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy for highly-skilled Jewish guest workers.

About John Faithful Hamer

John Faithful Hamer is a college professor who still can't swim, drive, or pay his bills on time. His sense of direction is notoriously unreliable, yet he'd love to tell you where to go. His lack of practical skills is astounding, and his inability to fix things is renowned, yet he'd love to tell you what to do. His mismanagement of time is legendary, as is his inability to remember appointments, yet he fancies himself a philosopher and would love to tell you how to live. He wouldn't survive in a state of nature, of that we can be sure; but he's doing quite well in the big city, which has always been a refuge for the ridiculous, a haven for the helpless, and a friend to the frivolous.

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