Arturo Vinetti (1924-2016)

56817_101575643248608_2091022_oI’ll never forget the time you showed up to help Alex—your grandson and my best friend—move out of that shitty apartment. You were definitely a senior citizen at that point, one of those grey-haired guys who gets a discount at the pharmacy—I’m guessing 69, maybe even 70—and yet you were still strong as an ox! It was insane. All these young guys in their early twenties. Sweating in the humid 1st of July heat. Just dying. But you didn’t even break a sweat! Two guys would be on one end of something huge, and you’d be calmly one-handing the other end. Really don’t think I’ve ever met a stronger, more gentle dude. And what a legacy you’ve left behind, Arturo! What love! Don’t think I ever told you this, but I always mention what you and Pauline had—your love, your marriage, your devotion to each other—in my “Love and Friendship” class at John Abbott College. You and Pauline are proof that the old way of doing things wasn’t all bad. In fact, it was often far better than anything we’ve got going on! If Alex and I can do half as well as you, we’ll have done well.

—John Faithful Hamer, The Myth of the Fuckbuddy (2016)

About John Faithful Hamer

John Faithful Hamer is a college professor who still can't swim, drive, or pay his bills on time. His sense of direction is notoriously unreliable, yet he'd love to tell you where to go. His lack of practical skills is astounding, and his inability to fix things is renowned, yet he'd love to tell you what to do. His mismanagement of time is legendary, as is his inability to remember appointments, yet he fancies himself a philosopher and would love to tell you how to live. He wouldn't survive in a state of nature, of that we can be sure; but he's doing quite well in the big city, which has always been a refuge for the ridiculous, a haven for the helpless, and a friend to the frivolous.

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